Losing the mental game

I started my long run (2 hours and 45 minutes) at around 4PM today. It was hot outside and I knew that it would be dark before I finished. I planned looping around my house at the 1:30 mark to pick up my headlamp. It was planned quite perfectly.

It was hot, but I was running smoothly. I didn’t feel great, but it was good enough to do my longest run ever. I planned to turn around at the 45-minute mark. I was going slightly downhill for the first 45 minutes and tracing back my steps for the next 45 minutes. At the 1 hour mark, I felt lousy. I was hot, my legs hurt and I was ready to start walking. I told myself to dig deeper; I still wasn’t even halfway. By the time I got back home at the 1:33 mark, I was done. I could have gone another 15-20 minutes but I had zero motivation. I stopped.

I feel awful about not finishing my run. I lost the physical game, but more concerning is that I lost the mental game. I didn’t even wait for the second wind. It’s a first for me. I’m not sure how I’ll make up for it…

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