How much I still love her

Simi looking for a treat

It is now 5 days since Simi departed. Sadness prevails in our household, but life has to go on. Some semblance of normalcy is slowly returning to our lives but even fun things are not quite fun.

I ran on the treadmill at the Parsus office for an hour. Usually I reach a point during an hour-long run where my mind starts thinking clearly and solutions are presented to any issues that are bothering me. No such thing happened during today’s run.

When my mind cleared, there was an overwhelming sense of sadness coupled by some sense of guilt. Did I spend enough time with Simi? Did I take her for enough walks? Did I take enough vacations with her? Should I not have gone to South Africa? Should we have waited to do her leg surgery? Did we give her the best medical care? When I think rationally, I know that these are irrational questions. One thing I never question is how much I loved; how much I still love her.

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